First of all Liam is being ... two. I know it's a phase ... I know it's his age ... I know this too shall pass. But dammit while you're in the midst of it, it's down right miserable. It would be fine if we got a break, but he is pretty relentless. He has his small shining moments. A smile and giggle here and there, but he is testing testing testing. Again, I know that's his age. I know in a few months I will laugh about this, but I'm not now. I'm trying a different approach. I'm trying to be more calm about my approach with him. I'm trying to let go of the little things and keep structure with the big things. I will not tolerate him smacking me or screaming at the top of his lungs. One of the things that gets me the most upset is the "nnnnnoooooooo" with whining to follow. Hopefully this really is just a phase and will be over soon. Sigh.
The other issue I've had this evening is my stomach is so upset. We met friends for dinner and I ordered fish and chips. Fried of course and I know that why I feel like crap. I'm so over it. I keep telling myself that I still deserve to have certain foods. And there are a few that despite how fattening it is I will still eat from time to time, but in general I'm so done. Eating out in general ... done. I don't have an issue with running to Baesler's on my lunch and getting the salad bar. But Wendy's, McDonald's, Taco Bell ... done done done. I'm killing myself at the gym and with my trainer and it's like it's going to waist. I have made a lot of changes in my diet, but I need to shift it into overdrive. I think part of the reason I feel so bad is because I've been eating better and now it's like my stomach can't handle the fried food. I've been choosing baked potatoes over fries and grilled over fried chicken, but it's time to get rid of it!! Let it be gone!!
I wear a bracelet that my friend Anne got me that says POSITIVITY on it and I love to wear it daily to remind me of just that. It really is a state of mind. And much like my blog last night about Pay It Forward it's a way of life. I try to remember that when dealing with Liam's tantrums and dealing with my weakness with food. I have so many amazing people backing me up and encouraging me. People who follow what I write, clients who care for me, family who never let me down, friends who are always beside me and that's what pulls me through. I'm feeling better already :)
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