Up and Down

Up down up down up down. What an emotional roller coaster this year has been already and it's only January 11th. As it's obvious by now, I found out last week I was pregnant and yesterday I miscarried. A whirlwind of emotions. The last week has been one big test.

Josh and I had made up our minds that we didn't desire to have anymore kids, so when we wound up pregnant it was a shock to say the least. Then we warmed up to the idea. All to be blasted with another shock of losing it. Back and forth back and forth. And all I can say is that I'm so tired.

This week has made me stop and think about all the things going on in my life. Not just about kids, but about what I want out of life. I thought I had it all together and I don't. I thought I was so confident with who I was and I'm not. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not in the middle of a breakdown. Been there ... had that. More like I'm ready to take an emotional journey to figuring out what I really truly want. I have what I need. I have a great husband, a fantastic son and a solid career. Outside of that I'm hazy. It's time for some changes in a good way.

I have always lived my life by the saying "Everything happens for a reason" There is always a lesson to be learned. And I'm doing just that. I'm very content with my family of three. I'm ready to take my life to the next level.

I will say that I'm overwhelmed by the outpour of support and well wishes from all my friends. It's almost sad that something bad has to happen to realize how people feel about you. I have such a huge support system between my family friends and clients and I'm so honored to know the people in my life. I'm so very thankful.