All of the events that have happened in the past couple months have had a pretty profound affect on me. Not like "I'm a victim" approach, more so how I approach certain circumstances and people. Eye opening things that have led me to changing the way I view the way my life is panning out. Let's throw out a topic.
Liam: I adore this child. What an amazing human being. I look back at pictures of him when he was a newborn and then look at the boy he is today and it baffles me. I remember the insecurity I felt. I thought I could never yell at him. I thought he would always been this sweet innocent little thing. HOW WRONG! lol Seriously he really is a great kid. But we have definitely hit a stage with him that he is roughing his way through, and we are being drug right along with him. It's that whole free will thing. Doesn't really work so well for me. I love to encourage Liam to be his own person and stand up for himself, I just didn't think it would start at 2 1/2 years old. I guess he comes by it naturally. I'm about as controlling and stubborn as he is. But I find myself sometimes constantly correcting, disciplining and scolding him. I try to be encouraging and finding other ways to keep him in check but he just doesn't respond to it. Here's the kick in the head about it all ... he only does this with me. I'm serious. Anyone who babysits him says he's perfect. No problem. No whining. Naps well. Eats well. Even when it's just Josh and Monk at home, he's great. When I'm home with him, he's whiney, grumpy and clingy. The clingy I don't so much mind but the whininess and being so standoffish, I have issues with that. But maybe it's because I AM the mom. I have no idea. All I know is I will be glad when this phase goes away.
Work: Boy do I love what I do. I mean I really really do. I listen to my clients, friends, family. Few of them truly enjoy what they do. How sad is that? I would hate to be stuck in a job because of the money or benefits. Now I know that not every job is perfect. I'm not saying mine is. Trust me I have my days I could throw in the towel. But I'd say over 85% of the time I truly enjoy my work. I love that I work with a color line that I'm very comfortable and confident with. I love our products. And I'm very happy that I enjoy the vast majority of my clients. I have gotten to a point in my career that I have a good chunk of confidence in my abilities but I'm still humble about it. I know I'm not the best. I have no desire to go big time or be in the public eye. I don't want to be on stage or go to these huge shows. I'm very comfortable with what I've built. I love doing clients hair and making them feel their best. I don't need all the other razzle dazzle. I keep up with the trends and new techniques. I'm constantly doing research. CONSTANTLY. Moreso than more of these "trendy flashy" hairstylists do. Because I want to keep myself fresh. I'm just very content with my career and that makes a lot of other aspects of my life fall into place.
Friends: What a roller coaster. I've lost a lot of friends and gained some. I use to beat myself up over losing a friend. "What did I do" "Should I change myself?" "Do they hate me?" And then it occured to me that it's just the natural progression of life. They come they go. The friends I've had that I don't really have anymore are not my enemies. I have learned from every relationship I've had. I think changing my approach of how I view the friends that aren't my BEST friends anymore helps me let go and I have less aggression in general. It's a good feeling. But we have made some amazing new friends. I'm just so grateful for these wonderful people who touch our lives.
Life in general: Josh and I have always tried to have a five year plan, which we still do. But we are finding we also have to have a 1 year and even a six month plan. Especially when you have an active toddler who is constantly changing your routine. We've learned to go with the flow with a lot of what life throws us. I try not to focus on the past and the bad things that have happened. I know because of what I write on here that you all think I'm an open book. Really I'm not. I only put out as much information as I'm willing to come back at me. I have a lot more that goes on and that's my business. I've had things happen in my life that have made me the person I am today and good or bad I wouldn't change any of it. None. Overall I'm very happy with my life and even at 28 married with a toddler I'm constantly growing. And I love it.
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